shitfacedanon:

dat-soldier:

sonnetscrewdriver:

dat-soldier:

did-you-kno:

Source

back the fuck up

There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up.

So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him.

The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off.

Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes.

did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out

This just keeps getting better

spngingerbread21:

nihilistic-optimism:

suckmyphallus:

spicybutthole:

thneedz:

milesjai:

This track here is not a song, nor a tune. It is a sound. A sound compiled by satanists in the early 12th century to open a door to hell to willingly given their souls to Lucifer. A sound used in 13th centure Europe during Excorisms to open the gates of hell in order to send the demon within someone back to its origins. This track is a danger to play for when it opens the gates of hell, it allows demons to enter wherever you are. Play at your own risk!!! There are certain “safe” zone where this track will not play at all and these zones are usually holy places such as churches where demons would not dare to lurk.

Truly horrifying.

OK ONE DAY IM GOING TO WORK UP THR COURAGE TO LISTEN TO THIS

should i play it I’m honestly scared

>people that are too scared to play it

image

I AM SO DONE WITH TUMBLR. I FUCKING CANT.

Jesus Christ…
xxxepson

(Source: dekutrickortreat)

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